Juliana Hatfield

Official website of Juliana Hatfield

I WANNA BE YOUR DISEASE

 

I want to be your disease

force you down hard to your knees

to pray to a god you thought you’d never need

and never took seriously

 

there’ll be no technology

no cure you can buy to defeat me

 

I want to be your disease

lighten and disrupt your sleep

pull bitter tears from your arrogant eyes

salty like humility

 

I want you to listen to me

I want to make you sorry

sorry for all of the people you hurt

cheated and lied to and worse

 

I want to be your disease

a catalyst for reckoning

with all of the harm you have done to the earth

and all of your vile and hateful words

 

you had every advantage

and took it all for granted

silencing anyone who questioned your worth

maybe now you will listen

 

I want to be your disease

draw it out painfully

plenty of time for the truth to sink in

that this is one deal you can’t win

 

 

IMPOSSIBLE SONG

 

you think you’re right

i think you’re wrong

can we find some little thing in common to agree on

maybe we could try harder

maybe it would be smarter

to recognize our shared humanity

 

what if we tried to get along

sing an impossible song

figure it out later on

 

i believe it’s true

you’re convinced it’s false

what the evidence is pointing toward

i wanna blow my top

 

these contentious times bring out the very worst in me

i don’t like what i’m becoming

 

what if we tried to get along

sing an impossible song na na na na

figure it out later on

 

because you might need my help someday

as i might need you to be kind

i could go deaf

and you could go blind

 

what if we tried to get along 

sing an impossible song

figure it out later on

what if we tried to get along

just for a four-minute song

it’ll be all right

if we harmonize

on this line

what if we tried to get along

na na na na na na na

 

YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART

 

in another world

on another plane

i might have believed

what happened to you

how did everything get so ugly

 

you’re breaking my heart

you’re breaking my heart

 

i slept so well

down my quiet street

knowing we all cared about the same things

 

now there’s a line

like a climbing wall

high and rising

it’s clearly drawn

and it cuts across and through everything

 

through right and wrong

pride and pity

through truth and lies

and now you and me

 

you’re breaking my heart

you’re breaking my heart

 

there are no more heroes

and no limit to how low we go

 

now you’ve shut all your doors

without a reason

you’ve been taken in

it’s a collusion

 

you’re breaking my heart

sadly you’re taken away

you’re breaking my heart

sorry to hear what you say

you’re breaking my heart

 

 

 

WHEN YOU’RE A STAR

 

you can have any girl

come up to your room

and if she won’t lie still

just slip her a quaalude

she won’t remember a thing

and even if she did

the law is on your side

they never prosecute your kind

 

do what you want

whatever you want to do

when you’re a star they let you

 

it’s so much more fun

under the gun

it’s a challenge for you

to be done before she comes to

there’s never any backlash

you make a face and everyone laughs

you’re still america’s dad

 

whatever you want to do

when you’re a star they let you

do what you want

whatever the fuck you want to do

when you’re a star they let you 

do what you want 

whatever the fuck you want to do

when you’re a star they let you

do what you want

buy the silence of your many tragic victims

do what you want

you’re protected by your sycophants and hench men

 

so grab another girl

against her will

maybe she will be the one you kill

 

 

 

GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

 

he takes medicine from the ill

and he can’t spell very well

but he knows how to read

and he has never killed anybody personally

he exaggerates and whines

but hey i’m no prize

i’m no genius

i tend to believe his lies

 

he’s good enough for me

 

why would i reach for the sky

when the sky is so far away

the shelf’s the limit

and the plates don’t complain when they break

now i’m set up on this hill

once in a while he’ll pay a bill

and on some sundays i pray

i really can’t complain

 

it’s good enough for me

 

he’s not a psychopath

he’s just a little mad

the standard is set

i’ll take what i can get  

 

it’s good enough for me

he’s good enough for me

 

 

 

SHORT-FINGERED MAN

 

he’s sweating heavily

but she can’t feel the heat

no electricity

his ego’s so deflated

his manhood’s so D-rated

she’s so bored she falls asleep

 

short-fingered man

can’t get her off

short-fingered man

best give it up

 

he claims he’s all the way in

but she can’t feel anything

he must be lying

and with the business end

it feels like nothing

is he even trying

 

short-fingered man

can’t get her off

short-fingered man

best give it up

 

he’s easily hurt

he’s very insecure

you have to talk gently to him 

like a little girl

in a long dress shirt

you can’t find his hands

now they’re lost in the pockets of his pants

 

short-fingered man

can’t get her off

short-fingered man

best give it up

 

 

 

TOUCH YOU AGAIN

 

he’s never gonna make you afraid

he’s never gonna call you names

you’re never gonna be accused of things you didn’t do

you’ll never be a victim of jealous delusions

never put into bad positions

 

he’s never gonna touch you again

he’s never gonna touch you again

 

he’s never gonna own you

never gonna show you off like a shiny object that he bought

you’ll never be subject to insane projections

never reduced to defending any truth

 

he’s never gonna touch you again

he’s never gonna touch you again

 

under your clothes and inside your head

that information is privileged

yeah

you can give it away if you ever want to

but it’s not something he can take from you

yeah

 

he’s never gonna touch you

never prey on you

never gonna paw you like a dog

never gonna make you afraid

he’s never gonna make you ashamed

you’re never gonna be accused of anything you didn’t do

 

he’s never gonna touch you again

never gonna touch you again

 

what’s under your clothes and inside your head

that information is privileged

yeah

you can give it away if you ever want to

but it’s not something he can take from you

yeah

 

 

 

SEX MACHINE

 

i’m gonna build you a sex machine

to satisfy every single need

any time of day or night

you can turn it on and have a good time

 

it’s all for you

i’ll make it do

all of the things

you want a girl to

 

put your hands on the sex machine

put your lips on the sex machine

put your dick in the sex machine

it’s got countless functions and multiple speeds

 

it’s all for you

you can make it do

all of the things

you want a girl to

 

love it hate it

demean and debase it

sober or wasted

control and manipulate it

pound it berate it

if you’re frustrated

kick it break it

you can replace it

 

and finally 

i’ll be free

left alone

to sleep in peace

through the night

with my dreams

left alone

unbothered and free

yeah

 

 

WONDER WHY

 

the living room 

and the curly sheepskin rug we called “the furry”

and sometimes i wonder why the plastic clock,

the macrame owl, and the butcher block couch are on my mind

 

i wonder why my parents chose a brown and orange scheme

and why that seemed okay to me

i wonder why the kitchen was an avocado green

and the upstairs bathroom was peach

 

the northern lights

we saw them in vermont one night from the car 

but only once

i wonder why the aliens who landed on the roof left me there

and didn’t take me to the sky

i’ve escaped into my childhood memories tonight

 

i wonder why my corduroys were always light blue

and i never had a TV in my bedroom

just a flame from an electric candle on my windowsill

and i dreamed of my melodies touching you

 

i wonder why the marimekko fabric on the wall was ever taken down

i wonder how a transistor radio held up to my ear

brought me to heaven 

and it’s still leading me here

 

 

 

SUNNY SOMEWHERE

 

there is a dark grey cloud

over this whole damn town

it’s gotta be sunny somewhere

 

i’m in a toxic fog

and i think it’s worse than i thought

i wanna be sunny somewhere

 

where the air is clear

will there be any people there

 

it feels like i’m breathing smoke

but a thought gives me hope

it’s probably sunny somewhere

 

but here it’s still cold and bleak

i need some vitamin D

isn’t it sunny somewhere

 

i can’t look

and i can’t breathe

crosses are burning dirty

 

i’ll find my way to the maldives

or the great barrier reef

the seychelles or the island of capri

corfu or somewhere in bali

 

it’s so scary to see

all of the darkness reflecting

but it’s gotta be sunny somewhere

 

 

 

KELLYANNE

 

kellyanne

i don’t understand

the way you make me feel

the way you turn me upside down

the way my heart sinks when you come around

like suddenly i don’t know who i am

kellyanne

the effect you have

you make me feel like animal

all my good sense goes out the window

and it tears me up to see you so composed

kellyanne

you make me mad

you’re so hard like a rock in my shoe

like every bitch in high school

do you love

do you feel

did you used to be real

is there any blood underneath your steely mask

kellyanne

you‘re on fire in my dreams

your straw hair catches instantly

your painted plastic face is melting

and you end up in a puddle at my feet

kellyanne

you’re a telegraph of vicious grace and pride

turning truth into lies

kellyanne

are you ever sad

i wanna be the first one to make you cry

i wanna make you cry

wanna make you cry

i can’t take it anymore

kellyanne

i light the match in my dreams 

you burn

i watch you burn but you don’t even squirm

imperturbable until the end

you’re smiling as your face is melting

and sliding off your skull down to the ground

 

 

 

HEARTLESS

 

how can you care if you have no empathy

how can you judge if you have no authority

how can you tell the truth without honesty

and how can you apologize if you’re not sorry

 

how can you see if you’re not looking

how can you hear if you’re not listening

how can you preach without believing 

and how can you teach if you haven’t learned anything

 

you’re so heartless

you’re so heartless

you’re so heartless

 

how do you forgive if there’s no mercy

and how do you fix if nothing’s working

and how can you choose without first thinking

and how can you grieve without remembering

 

how can you give with no generosity

how can you lead with no ideology

ho can you be real without sincerity 

and how can you be fair without any decency

 

you’re so heartless

you’re so heartless

you’re so heartless

 

how do you expect

to win the respect 

of anyone with a conscience

 

how can you cheat without misgivings

and how can you love if you have no feelings

and how can you know without understanding

that only a fool can take you seriously

 

you’re so heartless

 you’re so heartless

you’re so heartless

 

 

 

RHINOCEROS

 

he climbs on top in the dark

and pushes your legs apart

you grit your teeth try not to breathe

because he reeks of rotting meat

 

he’s crushing you

he’s fucking huge

 

his thick tongue slobbers across your face

you wouldn’t call it a warm embrace

it’s like being on a waterboard

sometimes you feel like such a whore

 

just close your eyes

try not to cry

 

give it up for the rhinoceros

guess who’s getting fucked by the rhinoceros

 

her name’s melania

she’s from slovenia

an illegal immigrant

he paid to sneak her in

 

he likes them young

and compliant

 

he rolls over and off of you

and he lumbers across the room

you go to the gilded bidet

to wash the shit away

 

just close your eyes, honey

and try not to cry

 

give it up for the rhinoceros

guess who’s getting fucked by the rhinoceros

 

this is a golden age

when anyone can get away with almost anything

but be careful what you say

everyone is watching you

and nobody cares about the truth

 

give it up 

for the rhinoceros

guess who’s getting fucked by the rhinoceros

america 

give it up for the rhinoceros, america

guess who’s getting fucked

by the rhinoceros

 

 

EVERYTHING IS FORGIVEN

 

this is what happens when you let the people speak

he’s a fucking animal

and i’m a piece of meat

 

god will forgive me for the things in my head

that’s what they said

that i can get away with anything

if i just repent

 

i told him everything

but it wasn’t enough

so then i started to make shit up

 

god will forgive me for the things in my head

that’s what they said

that i can get away with anything

all i gotta do is repent

 

god will forgive me for my anger and hatred and bloody, vengeful violence

god, forgive me please

for all the things i’m gonna do to him

 

‘cause i’m not gonna die a victim